There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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