The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
