You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
