im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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