Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
You're like the curious george of whores
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
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