I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize