I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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