So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
