Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
