i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
