Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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