do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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