There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
