we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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