The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Let's paint friendship bongs
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
