I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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