you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
