Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
