3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
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