you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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