We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize