So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
