yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
