So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I touched a dick in church today
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
