he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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