THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
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