I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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