OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I cut my penus on the lid.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I pour the whiskey from now on
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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