even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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