Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize