dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
