just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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