its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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