Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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