I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
