i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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