I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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