Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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