Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Randomize
