Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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