You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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