dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
