Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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