Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
