i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
