Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
