I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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