what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
