Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize