I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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