They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
