So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I currently don't understand fingers.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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