I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
should my penis look like a turkey
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
