Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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