dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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