Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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