Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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