Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
